1. Dude, Whereβs My Shoes?
Itβs baking hot and heat waves are rising from the tarmac road, so what does the stupid backpacker do? Kick off their flip-flops and decide to walk barefoot into town. None of the locals would walk barefoot along the road, not if they can afford a pair of shoes, yet the Western backpacker braves gravel, dirt, stones, scorpions, parasites and other hazards in order to look cool. Well, weβve got news for you β feigning poverty is not cool and it’s not “spiritual” – put your shoes on!
2. Dude, Whereβs My Shirt?
Despite the laid-back attitude to rules in many parts of Asia, if you do your research (or at least open your eyes when travelling), youβll notice that many locals are rather modest in the way they dress and thereβs a polite etiquette to what you should wear and when. Wearing no shirt and skimpy shorts are okay by the beach, but in restaurants, put your top on. When riding a bike around town, put your top on. When visiting temples β do we need to tell you this?
3. Oh. My. God. You paid HOW MUCH?
Backpackers have this annoying habit of competitively comparing how little they have managed to pay for everything. Youβve just secured yourself a good deal on a hostel for the night and youβre feeling chuffed with yourself, then you hear a backpacker say – βYeah, we just got a hostel for 20 baht/night, including free food and laundry. You paid HOW MUCH? THAT’S SO EXPENSIVE! (Roll eyes emoticon).
4. Urgh, I hated Bangkok / Thailand / South East Asia – itβs all so touristy.
Did you get off Khao San Road? Southeast Asia has loads of non-touristy places and they’re often not very far away from the main backpacker hubs. Take a long walk and get very lost down the back streets before you declare an entire city or country ‘too touristy’!5. I donβt like to mix with fellow Westerners when I travel.
Except you see them mixing with fellow Westerners, telling them that they donβt like to mix with fellow Westerners when they travel. βI prefer to hang out with the locals and have local experiences.β Yeah, itβs great to want to get to know the locals when you travel to a new place, but this doesnβt mean that you can pretend youβre the only Westerner there and ignore anyone that you meet from your own country. How about just being a nice person to everyone?
6. Everyone crashes their bike in South East Asia.
Oh, itβs so cool to have a motorbike accident or get a βfarang tattooβ (an exhaust burn on your leg) from getting off the wrong side of the bike. You just havenβt been to Asia if you havenβt got a good scar! Grow up.
7. I want to feel the wind in my hair!
Put a helmet on or you wonβt have a head.8. Letβs jump for a photo.
Oh please. Please letβs not.9. I have never been with such beautiful people. I love everyone right now. #Blessed ?
What are your names again?10. Hippie chic wardrobe.
Before they came away they went straight to the βGlastonbury sectionβ of Topshop and got themselves kitted out with shabby-chic garb so they can look like they’re in bohemian fancy dress when they travel.
11. Oh, you HAVE TO go to Myanmar.
What happens if I donβt go?12. No, I donβt want a F*?kβn suit, tuk-tuk or massage, thank you very much, T-shirt.
Upon first glance, this T-shirt is quite amusing, but just think how insulting this is to the local people who are trying to make a living from wealthy tourists who visit their country. Yes, you may get asked a thousand times, but why not learn a little of the local language and learn to say βno thank youβ and youβll be left alone, instead of wearing this disrespectful t-shirt.
13. Call you by the name of the country youβre from.
βHey Belgium, are you coming for drinks. Germany and France are coming!β Your memory hasnβt been that shot at by the buckets youβve drunk to remember peopleβs names, surely?14. Crusty old grumpy backpackers.
“Back when I first came here, there was only one bar, a few local street food stalls and not a 7-11 in sight. Never mind buckets, we all sat around a campfire drinking rice wine!” (Mmh. This one sounds too familiar.)15. Warped economics.
After spending half an hour haggling with a rickshaw driver to lower the price of their journey by a measly 10 rupees, you walk straight into a bar and spend 300 rupees on an imported craft beer. Does that make you feel good about yourself?16. Have you read βThe Power of Now?β
Upon hearing about this book for the 19th time today, youβll understand why I donβt want to appreciate the moment, thank you.
17. I can play the Ukelele.
No, no, you canβt.What annoys you about fellow backpackers?
Nikki Scott | Founder & Editor
Nikki is the founding editor of South East Asia Backpacker and The Backpacker Network. In her early twenties, she left her home in the North of England on a solo backpacking adventure and never returned! After six months on the road, she founded a print magazine that became legendary on the Banana Pancake Trail. The rest is history.
