“When people travel to my country, it should not be our job to tell them what the customs are.”
This comment came from a gentle Khmer man just outside of Siem Reap as a couple of young girls rode past his cafe wearing tiny hotpants and bikini tops. I sat there listening to this interesting gentleman over a cup of coffee, and had to agree with every single word he said. I cringed as I remembered that I too used to be the kind of disrespectful tourist he was talking about. I didn’t even realise it at the time. It was not because I didn’t give a shit and was just there for a drunken holiday; it was because I was ignorant about the culture I was visiting and never considered doing a little research beforehand. It took some time, but I now consider myself to be a mindful traveller. However, I see many other travellers out there who are like my past self, or even worse – the ones that just don’t give a damn!

If you don’t read anything else before your trip, at least take note of these 10 simple do’s and don’ts…
1. When entering temples… When you enter a temple, you must be properly clothed. For females this means your shoulders and knees must be covered, and for males no singlets (vests) or shorts that end above the knee. In some places, full pants have to be worn. If you are dressed inappropriately don’t just step in for a quick look or photo. Come back later when you are covered up, or carry a sarong or scarf with you. Your shoes also must be taken off when you enter a temple. 2. Watch where you put your feet! Never point your feet at any one, especially at a representation of Buddha or a monk, and never step over someone. This is unthinkably rude and can deeply offend the locals. The feet are considered to be the lowest and dirtiest part of the body, which is why it is terribly disrespectful to point them at anyone. When sitting in a temple looking at a Buddha statue, tuck your feet under your legs or sit with them to the side. If you are unsure, look at how a local does it. 3. Never touch someone’s head… Don’t ever touch someone’s head, even young children. Opposite to the feet, the head is the most sacred part of the body. If you touch it, even if it is just to ruffle a person’s hair, it is like you consider yourself to be ‘holier’ than the person you are touching. Unless you are a monk, keep your hands off of someone’s head. If you see a traveller making these mistakes, politely inform them. Chances are the person might not be aware of what is considered disrespectful, and they will appreciate being told in a friendly manner. 4. Cover up! When you’re not in a beachside town, you should cover up in general, not just in temples. Wearing short dresses with your cleavage showing or shorts with your bum cheeks hanging out (you know the ones I’m talking about!) are very disrespectful. Look up the dress code of the country and follow it. The people in South East Asia hate confrontation and will likely not say anything to you. They may feel offended but keep it to themselves. Yes, South East Asia can be hot, but put the customs of the lovely people who welcome you into their home country above your own comfort.
Along with respect, show courtesy and politeness to everyone you encounter.
5. DON’T FORGET TO SMILE! I read a quote the other day that said, “A smile is the same in every language”. I smile a lot. It makes me feel good, and others feel good too. Look at the countries in South East Asia – they all have had a tragic past. Yet the locals here are resilient and have managed to bounce back to be the incredibly friendly people they are known as today. They smile a lot too. Don’t fail to notice this. Traveling isn’t always smooth sailing, but never stop smiling. If someone says hello to you, say hello back and smile. Doesn’t matter how bad your day is, a smile will go a long way. 6. Don’t forget manners you wouldn’t forget at home. One thing you cannot avoid is people trying to sell you things or offering rides, but this is their livelihood. Most of these people have a family, and the income they are trying to make helps them survive. Ok, you may not need a suit, some food, a massage or a lift somewhere, but acknowledge everyone who talks to you. Learn how to say “No thank you”, or if you don’t know that, at least SMILE and shake your head. Do not brush them off and NEVER ignore these people! You would be mortified if someone treated your parents, grandparents, siblings or children like they were not worth the time of day… 7. Don’t take the piss! Getting a shirt that says, ‘No Tuk Tuk Today Or Tomorrow’ may seem funny to you. In reality you are giving the middle finger to someone who is just trying to make a better life for themselves and their family. If you are offered 100 boat rides a day, give back 100 cheerful “no thank you’s”. Don’t get annoyed and keep in mind you have chosen to visit THEIR country.
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I agree with all of it. Actually the dresscode around SE Asia is not that difficult.
Just ask yourself:
Are you on a beach or at the pool?
If the answer is no, do NOT wear a Bikini Top or Walk around with your shirt off. I do not see people in my homecountry wearing a Bikinitop in the city. Even on hot days. So don’t do it there also.
Also, the more local you get, the more you should cover up.
If you are in Bangkok, shorts are ok. Chiang Mai as well. These cities are pretty modern. Nobody will blink twice at your shorts and locals wear them except if you wear beachwear/backpackers type of shorts and tank tops, which always tend to look a bit sleezy. Not sure why it is liked so much?
Although, I would add, smiling at everyone isn’t always the best thing to do for women who travel alone. Being to nice to men here might be seen as an invitation. Some men with not much exposure to the west western women come off as being easy. So girls, be wary about this stereotype.
When it comes to men greeting me on the street or trying to talk to me (others then vendors that is) I act as any Thai woman would: I ignore them.
Again, most of the time I just try to do what local women would do too. Just to be safe. But I agree the need for most backpackers to just read the general do’s and don’ts a bit. Takes like 10 minutes.